what if?

what if my illness was something worse, what if my extremely excruciating regular headaches had an actual physical cause, this scares me, like have i accomplished everything i'd be happy with have i done everything i want to do, would i be happy to leave this and say i did my best, :( im actually really scared of this, :( i dont know if i'd get it treated. i dont want to leaveanyone behind, but i dont want people to suffer watching me try and get better, fucking hard shit :( dont like this one bit :(
MILKbaby is a cunt